Do you ever get scared of saying something out loud because you are afraid you might jinx it??? Well that is apparently what I have done for this year. I am not giving up on this being a good year. I am still hoping for things to turn around, and really its only been a bad couple of days.
We moved into our new house January 1st. I am happy about it, but moving = stress. I can handle that though no biggie. Then come to find out I will most likely be losing my job in about 2 weeks. There is a chance that wont happen, but 2 weeks will come quick and if I do loose my job then what!?!? That = major stress!!!!
I would like to say I would collect unemployment and stay home with Payton for a while and just take it easy, but that wont happen if I want to pay my car payment, electric bill, get food for my family, you know that kind of stuff. I cant even afford to collect unemployment. I was completely ripped off by someone that was suppose to be my friend. I wont get into those details, but geez this is all getting to be to much! Our plan was to go to the Dr. in January to see about having another baby, and now that is not going to happen. Brennan has the flu, and I feel like I could go on and on.
I really dont know how to handle stress. I am not good at it. When things start happening that I cant control I start to freak out, just a little bit, but then something else happens, and something else, and finally all I know how to do is act like a crazy person that has no idea where life is taking me. I know things could be worse. They could be much worse, and really this is life. I know you have to have hard times to know the good, but I really don't like this part. I read this poem today and I know I just have to trust in God and know that what happens is for the best and try to figure out what I am suppose to learn. I really liked this poem so I decided to share it.
Each day brings new situations to be faced.
In sleep the cares of yesterday
have not been erased.
Worries of days past and present
I grasp firmly in hand.
Pushing aside all reminders
Of God's gracious plan.
Weary I struggle to face another day.
With my plans in ruin and my strength gone.
In quiet despair I try hard to hold on.
In the midst of life's storm,
I cling to all I hold dear.
When suddenly a still small
voice I do hear.
"Behold I am with you
where ever you stray.
My strength will carry you
I will make a way."
Fierce winds must listen when He says,
"Peace, Be Still".
I've only to trust HIM in all of my ways.
Surrender my plans to His perfect will.
Thanks for letting me vent.
