So now I have a blog

Lately I have been reading a lot of my friends blogs, and I am hooked! I have learned things about them that I have never known, and I feel so many emotions while reading. I have decided to try it for myself. I am no writer. I am a bad speller, and really I am not very interesting.
I have gone threw a lot in the last couple years and I guess this is the best way for me to write down what I am feeling and get things out. I am not good at expressing my emotions and I feel like I let things build up. (Although I am sure my husband would disagree!)
I have been married for 8 years now. I was told I was getting married way to young. I didn't listen. I was in love. I moved across the country to Virginia. I didn't really realize what I did until I was there. I missed my family!!! I couldn't believe that I just packed up and left. It was so hard, and although I don't regret it, I wonder what my life would be like if I told Brennan I wanted to stay in Utah. Would we of stayed together??? I remember sitting on the couch one day( in Virginia) when a commercial for the "Little Mermaid" DVD came on the TV. I started bawling. That was me... in my mind! I left my Dad (family) for my prince charming. It was the saddest thing ever! I cried and cried.

Five years later we moved to Arizona to work for Brennan sister in Kingman.  Basically it is a small cowboy town. No malls, no Target, not really even any restaurants. Most people that knew of it were just passing threw, and cant believe I would live there. I didn't care. I was so excited to be so much closer to my family! My sister-in-law asked if we wanted to come visit first to see if we liked it, and I said "No." I was leaving VA! We bought a house before we even put ours up for sale. Thankfully our house sold in 11 days and we had multiple offers so we were able to make a nice bit of $$$. Everything seemed to just fall into place.

I met a lot of people in Va that will always be a part of my life. I made friendships, Brennans family was there (which is why we moved there .) I was able to see how much the men and women in the military give up to keep us safe, and free. I saw the families of the soldiers, and all the emotions that go along with it.  I learned a lot about myself and what really matters to me.
At the same time,  I saw a whole different world that I never knew really existed. I grew up very sheltered. I am grateful for that. I don't think its a bad thing. I did need to see what the real world was like, and maybe that is why I wanted to leave so badly. The world is a scary place.  My Parents warm, cozy life they had made for me was safe and happy. While working as a book keeper at a grocery store, one of my co-workers was telling me about the "projects" and how they use shopping carts for BBQs. I had no idea what he was talking about. Projects???  I learned about racism, drugs, abuse, gangs, and a 14 year old that said he was bi-sexual. We heard gun shots at night, and would regularly see  prostitutes walking the streets. I felt so out of place. I might sound very naive, but I really was. I had no idea what was really out there. I know its everywhere. Even in my safe little Sandy Utah, but this was just so much, so fast. I was growing up... and that was hard.

I am very grateful for the childhood that I had. I hope to give Payton a childhood that he can look back on and feel warm, and cozy! My parents worked hard to take care of us, and although we didnt have a mansion, or millions of dollars, we never did without. Everyone in our neighborhood  new each other for blocks, and everyone watched out and took care of each other when we needed it. We had love. I didn't know that there were children out there that had no love.
I have been very blessed in my life.